Star Trek Review

By: Michael Lee

Starring: Chris Pine, Eric Bana, Leonard Nemoy
Year: 2009

So a while back, Chris wrote a review for GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra in a very peculiar way. He picked out the things he liked and compared them with the things he didn't like, wrote a final opinion on the movie, and gave it a rating on everything combined. I figured this a very efficient way of writing reviews, considering I'd no longer have to worry about grammatical correctness and paragraph flow, and therefore can put out a lot more reviews relatively fast. So, let's test this out on last years "Star Trek"!

Likes:
- First and foremost, big boobed green alien chick (see above)

- Secondly, Chris Pine's performance. If you would've told me two years earlier that the kid whose best known performance was that Lindsay Lohan movie about bad luck would bring new life to James T. Kirk, I would've eaten your puppy's brain with a spoon.

- Simon Pegg and John Cho had great parts too, and I'm glad they got to show their acting chops

- J.J. Abrams is a movie making genius, and even his multi-dimensional, timeline-raping trademark didn't get in the way

-Lenoard Nemoy adding to the fact that J.J. Abrams' multi-dimensional, timeline-raping trademark didn't get in the way

Dislikes:
- Anton Yelchin's Russian accent. I realize it was his choice to keep the original character's horrid accent, and it was a cute throwback in the first scene or two. But dear lord, it really grinder my gears after the fifth or sixth time I heard it.

- Did you notice the similarities between this movie and the Star Wars series? Abrams himself claimed he liked Star Wars more than Star Trek, and subconsciously I believe he developed this movie with Star Wars in mind. Think about it. The hero is brought up as a farm boy before joining a sort of intergalactic police force, our hero gets into a bar fight early on in the story, the hero is stranded on an ice planet where he's attacked by a snow beast in a cave before he's rescued by his first mate, the leading lady falls for the first mate, the wise and older master is impaired/killed on the enemy's monstrous spacecraft, this monstrous spacecraft destroys an entire planet which happens to be home to one of the main character's family, and finally this monstrous spacecraft is completely obliterated by the smooth flying/shooting of one of the main characters. I do believe that this proves Star Wars is better, since the Star Trek series had to borrow themes from the Star Wars movies to really get good.

 

9 out of 10 Nerdism Nerds.